Fat Day


Sometimes, when I'm having a Fat Day, I dream of a future doctor appointment that'll go a little something like this:

Doctor:  Oh . . . my . . .

Me:  What? What is it, doctor?

Doctor:  Your tests came back. I . .  [stammering]  I . . . I can't believe it.

Me:  Wait--after all these years? Is it true?

Doctor:  I'm afraid so.

Me:  You're serious?

Doctor:  Yes, Kristi. You have the worst thyroid condition I've ever seen in my life.

Me:  So you mean to tell me that--

Doctor:  Kristi, let's put it this way. If any other woman ate and exercised like you, she would be dead. Not underweight. Not waifish. Dead.

Me:  Just as I suspected.

Doctor:  It's a miracle you're not 400 pounds. Wow. I . . .I'm speechless. You are defying everything we know about modern science.


Until that day happens, I'm ordering a batch of this stuff. Seems legit.

Photo by Matt Holloway


  1. HAHAHA this is my ultimate fantasy!!! Totally have wished I had a thyroid condition and a discovery and some meds would be a cure all!

  2. i'm not going to lie. this totally happened to me. all through jr high i was a chubbster, then because i didn't hit puberty like the other girls at 16 i got my thyroid checked out. yup. sure enough, one tiny pill a day and 30 pounds lost in one summer just in time for high school. it really is a dream come true.

  3. lol I have thyroid disease but the pill does not help without you never ever eating any white flour, sugar, or really any carbs...so basically you would be thin anyway if you didn't eat any of that haha

    oh and I have to run everyday just to maintain or lose... lol

  4. OH, I am so having a fat summer. I'v gained more than five pounds and I'm PISSED.


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