Why It's Difficult To Explain My Desire For The Priesthood


I lived in a fabulous ward in DC. Attorneys, alcoholics, converts, young families, immigrants . . . a true melting pot if there ever was one. (Not unlike the branch I'm in now, which I love dearly.) One of my favorite characters was Sister Mack. Every fast and testimony meeting, she got up and bore her testimony, and every month, it was the same: a gospel song she sang over the pulpit with the congregation joining in.

You got to stand your test in judgement
You got to stand it for yourself
Ain't nobody else can stand it for you
You got to stand it for yourself

For a few weeks now, I've thought about writing a mammoth blog post that explains why I believe in women's ordination. Daunted by the task, I've put it off and put it off--feeling a little more guilty every day for not having the wherewithal to sit down and hammer out my convictions.

But while chatting with a friend yesterday (I could not have gotten through yesterday without the help of many dear sisters--thank you), it dawned on me why I haven't done so--and why I probably never will.
  • How can I distill years of seeking, study, and prayer and into a blog post?
  • How can I summarize countless hours spent reading about Church doctrine, history, and policy into a few paragraphs that may convince you?
  • How can I condense hundreds of conversations with faithful sisters in online groups, social circles, and other communities into one essay?
  • How can I convey the whisperings of the Spirit? (Should I?)
I can't. Even if I could do justice to those experiences, you probably wouldn't understand them. You got to stand your test in judgement. Ain't nobody else can stand it for you.

I am here today because I chose a path and walked it. It's not right for people to demand an explanation for a path when they've no interest in taking a step themselves. I'm happy to answer questions from anyone with a sincere desire to understand, but this can be emotionally exhausting--especially when those conversations often begin with What is the priesthood to you? Do you know what it is and does? (Oops, somehow in the hundreds of hours I've devoted to this, I misunderstood that, brb)

I love this church and I'm not going anywhere. I firmly believe that women's ordination is a divine principle, and I have no control over whether you view that as a threat to your belief system or antithetical to Church doctrine.

In advocating for women's ordination, I honor my baptismal covenant to stand as a witness of God at all times, and in all things, and in all places. It's been a beautiful, painful, and deeply transformative journey. I hope everybody gets a chance to stand a test like this.


  1. Thank you for writing this. I found it inspiring and beautiful. I too believe that women will be ordained because God is no respecter of persons. He sees us all the same. We are all equally capable of using His power when we are humble, without malice, and believe in Jesus Christ. That's what it all really comes down to. Do we try to live like Christ? And for those billions who don't even know of Christ, do they try to live with love and forgiveness? I think many of them do. Worthy women should be able to act in the name of God just as any worthy man. And for those of us who think ourselves unworthy, may we have the help and love of those around us to loose ourselves from bad habits, unhealthy practices and thinking, and live with hope in Christ and faith in ourselves.

  2. Beautifully said, Kristi. :) Thank you for sharing. Love you!

  3. Great blog post, Kristi. I've also found myself wondering if I could (or should) take the time to explain my feelings on all of this for people. But I think you have the right approach.


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