Two Things Every White Person Must Do

• Go on a humanitarian trip to an African nation. If possible, avoid South Africa as your country of choice (too Euro). As a general rule, the more obscure, the better. Equatorial Guinea, Gabon, Eritrea and Malawi are optimal choices. Bonus points for going to somewhere that's been in the news for ethnic/religious conflicts and/or human rights violations (DRC, Nigeria, Sudan, Sierra Leone, Rwanda). The more dangerous the country is to visit, the bigger your white heart must be. But do NOT, under ANY circumstances, forget to take a picture with an African baby and post it as your FB profile pic.

• Buy a Prius.