Honest Cover Letters: Part Two

FOR JOBS THAT I AM SLIGHTLY UNDER-QUALIFIED FOR

Dear Sir/Madam:

I will be your slave. No, really. When you asked for my "desired salary" I selected the lowest one, but I would've gone lower if it had been an option. "Lower" as in free. I would do this job for free. And not just to pad my resume, either. If you forbade me from listing this on my resume, I wouldn't care. That's  how badly I want the experience of working for you, doing this job that is perfectly aligned with my talents and interests.

I don't have two years of professional experience, but think about it this way: It took me an extra two years to finish college because I made a last-minute decision to learn Arabic. I can guarantee  that learning Arabic is a bajillion times harder than any entry-level job anywhere. If I can jaywalk across an eight-lane highway in Amman like the locals, I'm pretty  sure I can survive in your office.

Really, though. I know you're looking at my resume and thinking "Ugh, recent grad, gross," but I'm a bit older and wiser than the average recent grad. You know what's more telling of a person's character than professional experience? Getting married at eighteen when everyone thinks you're crazy. And then dealing with newlywed shiz as you and your spouse both work five long years toward college degrees, the Boston Marathon, internships, and a study abroad program in the Middle East.

I'm smart, articulate, quick-witted, and driven. I'm teachable, a fast learner, and I don't make excuses for my own failures. You will love working with me. Plus, don't you have some quota to fill for hiring women? BONUS!

The best time to reach me is whenever since I will be obsessively checking my inbox for your email from now till November (at which point I will probably give up hope for a response). I'm available to work whenever, and by "whenever" I mean Thanksgiving, Christmas, ANY TIME YOU WANT. I look forward to hearing from you so we can talk more about my dream job.


Sincerely,


Kristi Boyce