Obligatory Fourth of July Post

WARNING: This is a pretty long post . . .but there IS a funny anecdote at the end. So persevere! If you skip everything and just jump to the end, you will die in seven days.

On Friday night Brock and I went to dinner at Aunt Cindy's house. We actually got in a big fight beforehand though. It was pretty funny . . . Brock was kindly telling me that I shouldn't be so quick to anger over inconsequential things like idiot Utah drivers. Oh, and that I shouldn't lean over and honk the horn when he's driving. I maintained the that if a person is incompetent behind the helm of a machine that has the capability to KILL me, I reserve to the right to get mad. Brock countered this argument by saying that I should never get mad. Ever. AKA: Be Jesus.

For obvious reasons, this advice did not go over well. By the time we got to Aunt Cindy's, I was in no state to sit down at a table next to my husband without feeling the compulsive desire to poke his eyeballs out. "You know what?!" I yelled as we got of the car. "You go to dinner!" and I stormed off down the cul-de-sac.

Way mature, I know.

I started walking home. Yes, walking home (we live about seven miles away from Aunt Cindy's). About ten minutes down the road, Brock's pickup pulled up beside me. I reluctantly got in the car. Much to my relief, he told me he didn't expect me to be Jesus. I told him I would at least try. I love how Brock is so quick to forgive, and how we're both able to just get over ourselves. If we were the type to hold grudges, we would have missed THE most amazing homemade lasagna at Aunt Cindy's house!

Saturday was our adventure day. I'd heard about this place in Alpine where there is a natural granite waterslide up in the mountains. The water at Sliding Rock was freezing, but it was such a hot day that it actually felt pretty good. We hiked above the waterslide for a little while, meandering up the mountain along the cascading river.

We had also heard stories of this crazy bike jump near Sliding Rock . . . after a little bit of searching, we found it. There were some teenagers there messing around, so we asked if we could borrow their bike. Click here to see a video of what ensued!

Then it was off to Aunt Cindy's for a BBQ. Man, we love her! :) My family drove over from Colorado for the weekend, so they were there, too! After dinner, we went to grandma's house with my family to hang out for a bit, and then to a park in Provo to watch fireworks and play with sparklers.

Sunday was relatively uneventful--we went to my grandparent's church, and Colby got ordained a priest. Crazy! Brock and I went on a night-run that evening.

I woke up early  Monday morning to go on a trail run with my dad. It turned out to be one of the most best runs I have ever been on! The first part is killer steep--it took us an hour to go 2.5 miles. But after that: WOW! It opened up into huge, rolling fields and meadows of tall grass and aspens! Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful! I'd be lying if I said that my dad didn't reenact the first scene from "The Sound of Music."

After our hike, we picked up Brock, Caden (7) and Connor (5) and headed to a waterpark in Draper called Cowabunga Bay. I love my little brothers like crazy, they're hilarious and so fun to watch. Caden's swimsuit was a little loose, and it just about came off at the end of every waterslide he went on! I saw his white little bum on SEVERAL occasions :) Connor was a riot in the lazy river. Brock and I would toss him through the air, spin him on the tube, dump him out the the tube, and basically rough-house the living daylights out of him . . . and he loved it! He also has a new saying that he says ALL THE TIME: "Touche, pussycat!" He said he learned it from watching that Tom and Jerry cartoon one day. Of course he has no idea what it means, so he'll just say it whenever he pleases. "Connor, do you want some Cheetos?" "Touche, pussycat!"

After bidding my family adieu, we went home to have one final date night before Brock leaves for California. We ate dinner at a new restaurant called Spark--it was delicious! Here's what we had.

thai chicken lettuce cups
boston bibb lettuce cups topped with thai chicken , roasted peanuts, and served with tamarind sauce

kobe beef burger
incredibly tender and flavorful burger with melted local cheddar cheese, caramelized onions, and
jalapeño aioli. served with truffle and parmesan french fries

fried chicken and smoked gouda mac & cheese
tender panko-crusted fried chicken served over trottole pasta in a creamy smoked gouda and pepperjack cheese sauce with a touch of bacon

banana strudel banana towers sautéed in cinnamon
and chocolate covered and wrapped in a thin filo dough before being deep fried. Served with housemade mango ice cream, strawberry sauce and mango coconut foam

On top of that, because our waitress found out that this was the last time we'd see each other for a month, she gave us double berry martinis on the house! Non-alcoholic of course--made with raspberry and blackberry purees and seltzer water. Yeah, we tipped her good. Like 30% good. When the Boyces go out to eat, we go out to eat!! HIGH ROLLERS, baby!!

To end the night, we went to the movie "Knight and Day." AND IT'S NOT EVEN AT THE DOLLAR THEATER YET!! And get this . . . we were planning on getting popcorn. AND SODA. Like I said, high rollers. I say we were planning on getting popcorn and soda because we didn't actually stay for the entire movie. In fact, we didn't even make it past the previews.

Allow me to explain . . .

We arrived to the movie theater a little late from dinner, but we figured the previews were just barely starting anyway and that it wouldn't be too crowded because "Knight and Day" has been out for a few weeks. WRONG. It was packed! To our delight, we spotted two seats next together in a prime location! Halfway up the auditorium, in the dead center of the row. So we annoyingly crawled over about ten people to sit down, and when we did, we got THE WHIFF. Brock and I looked at each other and bulged our eyes . . . you know . . . that "Do you see/hear/smell what I'm seeing/hearing/smelling" bulge that you do when you can't talk because the source of the sight/sound/smell is near you.

The source of THE WHIFF turned out to be the overweight, tank-top wearing redneck couple to our right whose double wide in Spanish Fork must not have showering facilities. I am not kidding when I say that this was THE WORST B.O. I HAVE EVER SMELLED.

THE WHIFF came approximately two seconds after either one of them adjusted in their seats (which was a lot)--sending a veritable fire bomb of putridity that singed our nostrils and made our eyes water.  I'm considering calling up the Department of Defense and having them track down this duo so they can patent their body odor and use it as a biological weapon.

We sat there in limbo for a few minutes--should we tough it out? We had already rudely crawled over ten people to get to our seats; we didn't want make things even MORE AWKWARD by crawling out five minutes later. After a little while, the odor would subside and we'd be like "This is okay. We can do this." But then Bobby Joe or Luanne would adjust in their seats and then BAM! THE WHIFF. We finally gave up, got our money back, and opted for a Netflix at home.

A boring end to an exciting weekend.