PMS Camps: The Answer To Your Prayers

I officially knocked off one of my last to-dos on the College Bucket List: I pulled an all-nighter.

To my surprise, this was easier than I thought it would be. I was lucky that one of my dear friends, Christina, happened to be working the graveyard shift at a hotel reception desk that night, so I always had someone to talk to. Another one of my friends, Julene, suggested munching on popcorn to keep myself awake. Psychologically, it reminds you of all the fun times you've stayed up late watching movies--a good way to trick yourself into thinking "THIS IS FUN!!! GRADING AMERICAN HERITAGE ESSAYS AT 4AM IS FUN!!!!!"

They say inspiration strikes you at the weirdest times. After hours of solitude last night, I came up with a GENIUS business plan that will make me millions. Ready? Okay, so you know how there are fat camps out there to help obese people get healthy? I'm going to start Penmanship Melioration and Sexification camps.

PMS camps.

Why would I be qualified to run these? My penmanship is the aesthetic equivalent of Sofia Vergara. Would you look at this? LOOK AT THIS.

A thing of beauty, eh?

For the poor souls whose friends and family are perennially subjected to illegible grocery lists, birthday cards, and thank-you notes, PMS camps may be the answer. What could be better? An unforgettable week in French Polynesia to lay back, relax, and let the island breeze beautify and sexify your handwriting. PMS camps could change the world. Better penmanship. Better people. ©

Tuition is $40,000. Airfare, meals, and lodging not included.