Seven Things You Didn't Know About Steven Seagal

Loyal blog followers know that I have a connection to B-list movie actor Steven Seagal.

I found this article on the internetz today and just couldn't help but share.

1. Steven Seagal speaks fluent Japanese

2. Jean-Claude Van Damme challenged Steven Seagal to a duel

3. A mystical dog saved Steven's dojo in Japan

4. Steven Seagal was a 17th century monk in a past life

5. Steven Seagal was poisoned in 1994 by a mysterious opponent

6. Steven Seagal broke Sean Connery's wrist

7. Steven Seagal had a tuxedo tailor-made to conceal two firearms

I am not making this up.

Seriously, read the article. Best line?

"The fact that Seagal is by all appearances a slow, overweight, narcissistic fraud incapable of hurting anything other than his own reputation simply means he’s expertly manipulated you into putting down your guard."

People. He is Jack Bauer, Chuck Norris, and James Bond all rolled up into one BADBUM BURRITO.

Except better.

BECAUSE HE'S REAL.